I was leaving the restroom of a local watering hole about a week ago when I was stopped by a woman asking where she knew me from. I didn’t know her (at least I didn’t think I did). After a couple of seconds it came to her. I was a singer songwriter that she saw a few weeks ago at the wonderful Tramontane Cafe in Utica, NY. This was true. I did do an acoustic show there a couple weeks ago and had a great time.
Great crowd, great sound..all in all a perfect evening. This particular person apparently was just at the cafe and had no intention of staying – but ended up having a great time and enjoyed the music and stories (I tend to tell lots of stories when I play listening room shows).
And then she called me out. She started poking me in the chest and said that I needed to not ever apologize for taking my time between tunes and telling stories. That I need to look more people in the eye when I’m singing. The poking continued as she repeated back to me details of the stories behind the songs:
- Spanish woman smoking Lucky Strikes
- Ambassador to the U.N. buying tequila
- Why I enjoy putting names of cities and weather in songs
This was both awesome and scary at the same time. There is definitely a part of me that doesn’t think people are listening in the first place-that thinks that what I have to say isn’t funny relevant or real-that doesn’t want to share a story, because of the inherent vulnerability that presents. But it’s that transparency that also allows people to connect, to have a laugh, or just to relate.
And so I guess what I learned first hand from that experience was that people do listen. Maybe not all people all the time, but whether you’re a musician, a salesman, a business owner, or someone just looking for connection…. it’s the stories we tell to each other (and tell ourselves), verbally and non verbally, that define us. Own Your Story. Give people a reason to connect with your art, your business or just you. Even more important, give others a reason to share their stories with you. I think you’ll be amazed at what you’ll find.
So…. what’s your story?
It’s so true. People resonate to a good story. Of course, the story has to be good, well told, and relatable. Additionally, the person doing the telling needs some basic skills. But, if we can put the fundamentals together, we can captivate people.
Thanks for sharing.
So so true! This reminded me of a time I was at a concert, somewhat reluctantly with a friend of mine. I was into the music, but one thing that struck me was the singers way of captivating the audience. He seemed like a person w extreme emotional intelligence, kindness, def interesting… Genuine. It made me a fan for life. I wonder if there is something equally as powerful as selling yourself and your personality, as much as the music. I love stories amid song! Good post.
Ryan, you are right on with this post! I know when I speak, it’s about making people feel like by knowing MY story, they can create (or change) their own! Touching an emotional or intellectual chord (pun intended!) is what makes people remember not only your story, but the how they felt when they heard it…one of my favorite Maya Angelou quotes sums it up best: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” The trick (and the art) is connecting what you say and what you do with how you make people feel.
Rick,
Thanks for leaving the comment. The show in question was actually the gig when you got up and helped on percussion. Totally agree with you that the stories need to be well-told and easily relateable. Do you think there’s a textbook way to become a good storyteller or just like music – doing it over and over and over again to find your voice.
I was talking to a friend about this experience and he said that I get into a rhythm when I tell stories (especially between songs on stage) in the way I phrase things, and how I speed up and slow down at certain parts…and he proceeded to emulate me pretty perfectly. It was scary, but he’s right.
Erin,
Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. Who was the singer? I think there are def some musicians out there who are almost better at the stories than their songs. Todd Snider comes to mind – not a strong musician but good songs, and AMAZING stories. Don’t know if there’s anything in life more effective in business, music, or relationships than being able to effectively relate…
There is actually going to be a story telling festival this June on the Village Green in Clinton. They are bringing in story tellers from around the country. Should be a fun event. http://www.stonestoryfest.com/stonestoryfest/Home.html Cash prizes for the winners!
I just got back from teaching a photography workshop to a group of high school students ranging from grades 7-12. I was blown away by what they picked up on by what I thought was an average delivery of content. It’s that instant of a moment when you realize you’ve connected or caused a shift in another person’s perception that I take away as a huge motivator to keep on creating.
What a great quote, Ann. Nothing to add. Very well said. I get nervous sometimes because I don’t want to be seen as it all being ‘about me’, you know? But I guess you have to just be conscious and have some emotional intelligence in those interactions.
Very cool, John! Thanks for sharing that link. Can’t wait to check that out! Glad to hear the workshop went well. Kids are waaaay smarter than we give them credit for. Are any of them doing what you’re doing already with their photography? Any surprises?
First of all, THANK YOU for all the awesome comments. I love when a post resonates with folks because the comments / discussions are usually better than the post itself.
Speaking of stories – stay tuned because something big is brewing that I’ll announce Sunday or Monday that I think you all are going to dig. Have to keep mum or a couple days though. Could be a really cool thing for the Utica area.
I think the biggest surprise was how interested the students were in giving photography a shot and the fact that their school has no photography offering. With budget cuts over the years programs like photography are the first to get cut or the last to be considered. So I think I’m most surprised at my frustration with that. I watched these kids jump at the chance to think outside the box. I can’t understand the argument that a course such as photography is too costly of an endeavor. I proved with my workshop that such a class can be conducted with absolutely zero cost. Every student had a cell phone with a camera and we posted their images to a website that was free to set up. I’m not sure if administrators still think that there is equipment that needs to be purchased and maintained, or what, but so much can be done so inexpensively with today’s technology that to me it just doesn’t make sense. I think there is a higher cost to not providing these types of courses. The other thing I took away from the experience is that teaching is a lot harder than I expected it to be. Not so much the material at hand, as much as the feeling like you are competing with a hundred other distractions in these kid’s lives. It was an interesting dynamic that I didn’t expect going into it.
Here’s the website we uploaded their pictures to, I was impressed with many of them given that it was a brief session and that they were limited to staying in the classroom. http://maraudersrock.posterous.com
Nice story, Ryan. Sorry again for the chest poking. Keep telling your stories.
No Problem Elizabeth – it woke me up. Thanks for the comment too.